15 Sign You Have Toxic Parents

15 Signs You Have a Toxic Parents

By: Sharon Martin

Do you have a troubled relationship with your parents? Are they demanding, critical, and manipulative? If so, they may be toxic people.

No one has a perfect relationship with their parents or in-laws.

 If you’re lucky you have a positive and healthy relationship with your parents most of the time. Unfortunately, for some people – those with toxic parents – this isn’t possible. No matter how hard you try, you can’t have a mutually satisfying and respectful relationship with people who are emotionally unhealthy.

What is a toxic parent?

The term “toxic parent” is a bit nebulous and we probably all define it differently. Often, narcissistic or those with other personality disorders or mental illnesses, abusive, emotionally immature, and alcoholic or addicted parents are labeled as toxic.

Young children, even those with toxic parents, assume that their parents are typical. Without any basis for comparison, you think other families operate by the same dysfunctional rules and that everyone’s parents are cruel, unavailable, or controlling. Eventually, however, you realize that emotionally healthy parents show genuine concern for their children’s feelings, encourage them to follow their dreams, apologize when they screw up, and talk about problems in a respectful way. You realize that your parents are different. 

Toxic parents cause a lot of pain and lasting psychological problems for their children. The good news is that it’s possible to overcome the effects of toxic parents. The first step is to be aware of what it really means to have a toxic parent and recognize the particular ways that your parents are dysfunctional or emotionally unhealthy

Signs you have a toxic parent

Below are some of the common signs of a toxic parent.

Toxic parents are:

• Self-centered and have a limited capacity for empathy: They always put their own needs first and don’t consider other people’s needs or feelings. They don’t think about how their behavior impacts others and they have a hard time understanding how other people feel.

• Disrespectful: They fail to treat you with even a basic level of respect, courtesy, and kindness.

• Emotionally reactive: Toxic parents often have difficulty controlling their emotions. They overreact, are “dramatic”, or are unpredictable.

• Controlling: They want to tell you what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Toxic parents always want to have the upper hand. Guilt and money are common ways they exert power and control.

• Angry: They’re harsh and aggressive. Or they might be passive-aggressive – using the silent treatment, snide comments said under their breath, or intentionally forgetting

• Critical: Nothing you do is ever good enough for a toxic parent. They find fault with everything.

• Manipulative: They twist the truth to make themselves look good. They use guilt, denial, and trivializing to get what they want.

• Blaming: They don’t take responsibility for their own behavior, won’t own their part in the family dysfunction, and blame it all on you (or another scapegoat).

• Demanding: They expect you to drop everything to tend to their needs. Again, they have no concern for you, your schedule, or your needs; it’s all about them and what you can do to serve them.

• Embarrassing: They behave so poorly (anything from making racist jokes, getting into physical altercations, making sexual advances towards your spouse, and so on) that you’re embarrassed to be associated with them.

• Cruel: Toxic parents do and say things that are downright mean. They mock you, call you names, point out your shortcomings and intentionally bring up things that you’re sensitive about.

• Boundaryless: They intrude on your personal space and don’t accept that you’re a grown adult who is completely separate from them. They want to know about your personal life, they stand in your personal space, open your mail, come over uninvited, offer unsolicited advice, and undermine your parenting.

• Enmeshed: Your parents have an unhealthy reliance on you. They share too much personal information with you (secrets or details of their marital problems or sex life, for example) and rely on you to be their primary source of emotional support.

• Competitive: Not only do they always need to be right, they act like they’re in competition with you. So, instead of cheering you on and being happy for your successes, they try to one-up you, diminish your accomplishments, or ignore you.

And the last sign that you have toxic parents is about how you feel rather than what they do.

• You feel bad when you talk to, spend time with, or think about them: You feel worse after an encounter with your parents. You dread talking to them. And even the thought of your toxic parents can cause your body to tense up and your stomach to churn. Painful memories may surface. Their negative energy taints everything they touch. If you have toxic parents, you probably weren’t encouraged to have your own feelings, so you might not be used to noticing them. So, be sure to pay attention to your feelings and notice whether your parents trigger feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, shame, or other negative emotions.

Awareness leads to acceptance

If you have toxic parents, please remember that it’s not your fault. No matter how much they try to blame you, your parents aren’t “difficult” because of anything you did.

Recognizing that your parents have significant problems, and are unlikely to change, paves the way to acceptance. And when we accept people as they are, we free ourselves from the struggle to try to change them. We can grieve the loss of the kind of parent-child relationship that we wished for.

Acceptance is very helpful in restoring your peace of mind. But even still, it’s very stressful to have toxic parents and you need strategies to help you cope with your parents’ dysfunction. Stay tuned!  

A Narcissist’s Behaviour!

A Narcissist behaves in the worst possible case scenario ever and takes the bad option always because he has some serious problems with his own fate.

A Narcissist torments, A Narcissist misbehaves and all Narcissists are the same when it comes to this.

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A Narcissist misbehaves in an utterly offensive way, this is where all of them are alike. Overt, Covert and Malignant.

They are all about offending you.

Even the quite Lovable and Charming Coverts.

So beware.

What you can’t readily see can hurt you.

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All Narcissists torment spiritually and this how they destroys you.

Not all Narcissists are physically abusive.
Not all Narcissists are verbally abusive.
Narcissistic Abuse is not mental.
It’s purely and utterly spiritual and emotional.

The only word that sums up the whole Narcissistic Behaviour is the slow murder of your will.

All Narcissists Are at War With Reality. They refuse to recognise or subordinate themselves to any higher power or authority because in their mind they are always right.

Reality sometimes clashes with that distorted self-perception and that can prompt A Narcissist’s Rage.

All Narcissists Are Deceptive
Deceit is a hallmark of disturbed personalities but some Narcissists are more skilled in subtle forms of Deception ,, these are The Covert Narcissists.

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I call them Covert Demons and they have raised it to an art form.

All Narcissists have a toxic sense of shame that is not self-directed.

All Narcissists are ego-centric.

All Narcissists are Manipulative.

They engage in a tactic to resist standards and avoid the responsibility.

The primarily conscious is planned and aimed to block internalising social standards.

To externalise blame, enabling others and scapegoating them besides being a weapon to make a good impression.

All Narcissists demean, degrade, triangulate, manipulate, lie, cheat, deceive, discard, hoover and discard again.

Narcissists never feel guilt or remorse.

All Aggressive personalities are Narcissistic Personality Variants.

Some of them score more on the malignancy spectrum and go more physically abusive.

Some others are just into tearing you down verbally and emotionally.

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Time after time, the cuts and bruises will heal or insults will be forgotten but the spiritual torture will hunt you long after The Narcissist is gone because this is what it’s all about.

A Narcissist behaves in a way to bend your soul, feed on it and your vulnerability exposes his empty heart made of hate.

A Narcissist’s behaviour is a way to give you pain and torment you spiritually because simply you are being compassionate.

A Narcissist’s behaviour is an ugly way and you will hear him talking about his helplessness and powerlessness.

No one is helpless and no one is powerless.
For Narcissists your vulnerability and your open wounds stirs their thirst for blood.

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This is why they are so cruel at discarding.

They say it’s a childhood trauma.

They say they are Victims.


Why Do Narcissists Turn Ugly And Cruel So Quickly?

The cause of this is because A Narcissist has persistent brewing rage, self esteem issues, grudges and an easily slighted ego.

Often when you see A Narcissist has a rapid mood swing over something minor it’s because you offended him accidentally with something you did or said and it has caused Narcissistic Injury.

The cruel ugly behaviour and personality you see is the underlying rage that fuels A Narcissist, this in essence is who he really is.

He often masks his personality to get along with people and use them for whatever he has in mind but this will crack if he is offended by something that triggers an Original wound to The Narcissist.

A Narcissistic Injury is caused by a reminder of the original abuse, bullying and insults that made The Narcissist go down this path when he was young.

Sometimes partners or people in general accidentally remind The Narcissist of these Narcissistic Wounds that he endured.

His defences then goes into full blown attack and you get to witness the rage he holds inside over these persistent ego attacks that sustained long ago but never truly been dealt with or healed.

Similar to Sociopathic Triggers and Abandonment Triggers in Borderlines, A Narcissist is set off by rejection, perceived acts of dominance, attempts of bullying or perceived arrogance towards him most of the time because these are all the things that he himself endured and has held grudges over.

This is why you see the rapid mood swings it’s because you threatened him at his very core and his true hostility and rage from his childhood is projected on you.

This is why some insults or reactions from you have caused massive over the top rages but other times he had no reaction to other types of insults or behaviours from others because specific behaviours attack him at his core and serves as a constant reminder of what he had endured long ago.
Say These Three Powerful Words To Dispel Narcissists – Not My Reality

I know you may scream from the rooftops that narcissists are NOT your Reality.

You don’t WANT them in your life.

You can’t stand them and you’re firmly OVER them.

But why is THAT particular narcissist still making your life a living hell?

Or, if you did get free of that one, why can’t you seem to shake other narcissists off and have a life completely FREE of them?

And HOW to once and for all, start living your life narcissist free. A life where you can honestly say and know ‘You are Not My Reality’.

What it really is and does with regard to narcissistic abuse, and how to finally say, embody and mean ‘Not My Reality’ – and effectively dispel narcissists forever.

When You Think You Are Saying ‘No’ but Aren’t

When you are trying to create an abuse-free life from a logical perspective, it’s very limited.

Your real-life experience will show you that what I am saying is true.

You may logically be saying ‘Not My Reality’ with intense passion and conviction, yet the narcissist’s antics, nastiness, and poison still continue in your life.

And no matter how much you declare you don’t want it and haven’t chosen it as your reality, it continues to be so.

Why is this your experience?

Because what is in your life experience is not being chosen by you logically. It is being called forth by you emotionally.

Much of this is unconscious. It is all to do with your almighty subconscious programs that not only control the billions of biochemical processes that define you as a living, breathing human being but also control, to the letter, your participation, application and connections in your life – both positive and negative.

Our painful inner traumas and beliefs are felt as fear, pain, righteousness and adamant ‘Nos’. These are the things we are most passionate about eliminating in our life.

Yet, the incredible irony is … these are the things that continue to enter our life experience over and over again.

I adored listening to an Ester Hicks message about making a pie in a kitchen many years ago, where a person was paranoid about the possibility of getting garlic in their pie.

Sure enough, garlic got in the pie.

The reason it got in the pie is because the ‘No’ that was being passionately declared was in fact a whooping great ‘Yes’. The subconscious program, with intense emotional energy of ‘garlic horrifies me’ connected to it, generated the reality of that subconscious program to the letter.

How the garlic got there is irrelevant. The almighty subconscious has unlimited permutations and ways available in The Field to unfold itself. Your subconscious fulfilling the subconscious program is as absolute as the Law of Gravity – and WILL always find a way!

Can you understand now that you vehemently declaring that the narcissist is not your reality, can make him or her even more so?

Should You Ignore What the Narcissist Does?

Okay, so does this mean that you are meant to ignore what the narcissist is doing so that you are not emotionally affected by their behaviour?

In my experience, it is a very rare individual who just decides to let it all go and actually manages to do so.

And this is where I am totally NOT a fan of the stock-standard Law of Attraction processes that are generally this: ‘Take your focus off what you don’t want and put it onto what you do want.’

When subconscious programs are entrenched in trauma energy, they activate survival programs. These survival programs mess significantly with our nervous and limbic systems and hijack not just our emotions but also our minds.

These inner programs, such as ‘The people who are supposed to love and care for me hurt me, abandon me, and even annihilate me’, have incredible power driving them. The cognitive mind is only responsible for 5% of our life, and it is the servant of the almighty subconscious not the master of it.

By trying to choose a new path that simply has a different ‘focus’, only makes the subconscious program reinforce itself more firmly.

This is why, in regard to trauma recovery, if we try to think ourselves into indifference, positivity and relief, it is a gruelling uphill battle that invariably leads to you sliding back into even more pain, helplessness and feelings of failure and being defective.

By trying to do this, when trauma is involved, we don’t get better, and we don’t do better or experience better.

Addressing the Horrible Reality In A Way That Works

Okay, so if we wish ‘Not My Reality’ to work for real with a narcissist, we know that adamantly declaring the statement doesn’t work. We know also that ignoring what is happening in your reality doesn’t work either.

The truth is: presently the trauma of the narcissist IS your reality.

How do we get the switch to ‘NOT my reality’?

By understanding where our reality REALLY comes from, which is from inside of ourselves. It unfolds from our all-powerful, subconscious programs that are interconnected with everything and everyone in The Field within our personal life experience.

Therefore, nothing that you do OUTSIDE of yourself – no pushing back or ignoring it – is going to work.

What is going to work, however, is changing your subconscious programs that are matching what is taking place with the narcissist.

How do we do that?

Much more simply than you can ever imagine. In fact, it requires no cognitive effort. All it takes is for you to take your focus off the outside world, which you have no control over, and move it onto your inner emotional world.

The ‘what hurts’ right now, in regard to what the narcissist is triggering off inside of you, IS the reality creating the reality.

Our subconscious programs appear in our consciousness, letting us know what they are via our emotions.

By using an effective Quantum Tool to reach your subconscious, emotional energy, you can load up and release this energy directly from inside of you.

This means you can LET IT GO.

And when you do this for real, it means the original belief systems that were underpinning the trauma energy, wrapped up in your Inner Being, leaves too.

This means the subconscious program no longer exists inside you.

This means it is no longer creating the validity of the painful belief in your life.

How do we know when we have effectively let go and eradicated a limiting, painful inner subconscious belief?

We know, because when we think about the thing that previously was hurting us, there is no painful energy on it anymore.

Let me explain…

Previously when we thought about what the narcissist was doing to us, it triggered pain, fear, dread and anxiety. The thoughts we had connected to this were of helplessness and powerlessness, no matter how much rage and righteousness we had onboard as defences.

After such a subconscious shift, when we think about what the narcissist did or is doing, those feelings of fear and pain are no longer there. We have completely different thoughts. We see it for what it is. We no longer have the internal match to personalise and internalise the behaviour, making it about us.

Now there is a separation – a distinctly different feeling.

Which goes like this: That is YOU, but this is ME!

Meaning: I am no longer sucked in, sucker-punched, triggered or handing power over. RATHER I am deciding and taking action regarding what IS my reality.

In certain cases, this may be doing nothing because there is no need to – you deeply know with your newfound wisdom inside that there is no point doing anything, responding or acting in any way.

Just starve it of energy.

This is not a logical decision. It is a solid, anchored inner knowing of the thoughts and feelings connected with your True Self state on the topic of this person in your life now.

Or, you may know deeply inside you that without the previous emotional derailment of your triggers, you can now factually, calmly and in a concise documented way, take action to create boundaries and accountability with this person.

And you have ZERO fear about their reaction to this.

And you know if fear does comes up – meaning that there is another inner subconscious program to be addressed – that you will turn inwards, go to it, and release it.

When you become the true inner subconscious programs of ‘Not My Reality’, and you say it as a calm, untriggered, solid inner state, you will feel, think and do in alignment with ‘Not My Reality’.

You will line up with all the ideas, inspirations, support, people, synchronicities, and even miracles, that unfold ‘more of that’.

Remember how your subconscious has unlimited access and availability to all the permutations of The Field in your reality, to help unfold the reality of the subconscious beliefs?

I promise you, with all my heart, that when you release the trauma that the narcissist is triggering within you – and all the painful beliefs that were connected with it organically leave your being as well – you will be able to say authentically ‘Not My Reality’. And you’ll be able to say this because that is the absolute truth of Your True Self and your True Life.

False selves and abuse are Not Your Reality.

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Top 32 Fun Activities That Can Help You Burn Calories (No Boring Workouts)

When trying to lose weight, or maintain a certain weight, it can become mundane doing the same physical activities over and over again.

This is what usually causes people to lose interest in their workouts and never reach their body weight goals.

If you are looking to change things up, and keep your workouts or leisure time more exciting, then check out the following physical activities to burn calories:

1. Ballroom Dancing

The average person can burn up to 330 calories per hour as they tango or waltz across the room. To burn even more calories, the average person will need to dance at a faster pace.

For example, 500 calories would require roughly 90 minutes of faster paced dancing.

2. Baseball

America’s pastime can also help you to burn off more calories than you think. In an hour, an average person can burn off roughly 360 calories.

The longer you play, the more you will burn off.

3. Basketball

This sport is great for improving athleticism, coordination and burning off calories. In one hour of shooting hoops, you can burn nearly 300 calories.

In that same time span, if you play a half-game of hoops, you can burn up to 558 calories.

For those that run the full length of the court, you can burn nearly 747 calories per hour.

4. Bicycling

Bicycling is one of the best cardio exercises as it blends physical exertion with leisurely enjoyment. The faster you pedal, the more calories you burn.

The average person can burn 48 calories per mile at a speed of 14 mph. At 20 mph, the average person will burn off 56 calories per mile.

5. Boxing

This activity can be done as a competitive sport or as an intense workout. Either way, you are cranking out the sweat and calories.

In an hour of hitting the heavy bag, you can burn over 400 calories. An hour of sparring will up the caloric expenditure to over 630 calories per hour.

6. Bowling

This activity will surprise you with how many calories you can expend during a few games of fun. The average person can shed at least 210 calories in an hour.

If you are there for a few hours, then you will burn off over 400 calories.

7. Cricket

This sport might not be as popular as others on the list, but it’s certainly an activity that helps you to burn off a lot of calories.

In one hour of cricket playing, you can burn off at least 350 calories.

8. Croquet

This popular lawn game can also become a very competitive activity where up to 6 players can play at a time. In most cases, the average person can burn off nearly 200 calories in an hour.

If it gets more competitive, and you ramp up the intensity, expect to burn off more calories.

9. Curling

Curling has been popularized by the Winter Olympics. But, have you ever wondered how much work these participants are actually doing?

In an hour of curling, you can actually burn over 270 calories.

10. Fencing

Fencing is more than just dueling against your opponent, it’s also dueling against your body to burn more calories.

In an hour of fencing, the average person can burn off nearly 400 calories.

11. Football

The most popular sport in America is also a great way to burn calories. In a game of full contact, smash mouth tackle football, you can burn off 650 calories per hour.

In a game of two-hand touch or flag football, an average person can crank out over 550 calories an hour.

12. Golf

Golf is both a sport and leisurely activity with many variables that can affect your caloric expenditure. Based on 9 holes of golf, the average person can burn 721 calories walking with a bag or 718 calories walking with a pushcart.

Additionally, using a caddie can lower the calories to about 600 burned and riding in a cart will decrease the caloric output to roughly 400 burned.

13. Handball

Handball is more than just an activity you play during your school years. This game has grown into an international competitive sport and it’s a great way to burn calories.

In an hour, the average person will burn off almost 900 calories during a competitive handball game. The number of calories burned will also depend on your intensity.

14. Hockey

Hockey is a great example of high-intensity interval training. For those who play hockey, you can burn off up to 700 calories per hour.

However, because of the high levels of intense intervals, hockey players can burn off more calories even after the game is over.

15. Horseback Riding

You might be surprised to know that not only is the horse burning calories but so are you. In an hour of trotting or walking a horse, you can expend about 250 calories.

If you increase the horse’s pace, you will also increase the number of calories you burn in an hour.

16. Ice Skating

This winter activity can be an enjoyable way to burn some calories and spend the evening with loved ones. In an hour of light ice skating, you can burn off nearly 400 calories.

For those who crank it up to speed skating, you will also crank up the caloric output to over 1000 calories per hour.

17. Jiu-Jitsu

This martial arts is a great way to learn self-defense, self-discipline, and burn calories. With all of the variables that go into Jiu Jitsu, the number of calories burned in an hour can fluctuate greatly.

Typically, the average person will burn about 300-500 calories in an hour of light to competitive bouts of Jiu-Jitsu.

18. Jumping Rope

Jumping rope can be done as an individual activity or part of your training in other sports like boxing and wrestling.

Whether you are playing double dutch or doing double leg jumps, this activity is a calorie killer.

The average person can shed up to 600 calories per hour depending on the intensity.

19. Mowing the Lawn

Not all activities are going to be fun and exciting. Sometimes, we still have to take care of our responsibilities and chores around the house. Instead of viewing chores as a depressing act, try viewing them as a way to burn calories.

With that in mind, pushing a lawn mower for an hour can burn up to 462 calories. So, get off the riding lawn more and get pushing.

20. Rowing

This is one of the best activities for burning calories and improving your overall fitness level. Depending on the intensity, an average person can burn roughly 520 to 640 calories in an hour.

They will also work for every major muscle group harder than just about any other activity on this list.

21. Rugby

This international sport is gaining popularity in America as a great way for kids and adults to be active. Not only will they smash their opponents, but they will also smash the calories.

Depending on the level of intensity, an average person can burn up to 700 calories in an hour.

22. Running

Running has many levels of intensity that can really impact your body and how many calories you burn. The average person can burn roughly 14 calories per minute.

So, that would be over 840 calories per hour. You can boost your caloric expenditure by increasing the intensity in the form of sprinting.

Also, HIIT for running is a great way to burn calories and get in shape.

23. Skateboarding

Skateboarding really gained popularity in the 1980’s and it has become a common activity for people of all ages. It’s also a wonderful activity to eliminate those calories as the average person can expend more than 375 calories per hour.

Keep in mind, upping the intensity of a skateboard session will also up the calories burned.

24. Skiing

An hour of moderately intense downhill skiing can burn up to 600 calories per hour for the average person. While cross-country skiing can take it to over 800 calories burned an hour.

Your level of intensity will affect how many calories you burn in an hour. On a side note, cross-country skiing is also considered one of the best total body workouts due to all of the muscles that are engaged in this activity.

25. Sleeping

For some of you, this might be your favorite activity on the list. A person’s weight, muscle mass, and other health factors can affect caloric expenditure per hour.

With that being said, the average person can burn just under 50 calories per hour of sleep.

So, a good night’s sleep of 8 hours can burn nearly 400 calories.

26. Soccer

The world’s most popular sport is also a great way to burn off calories. In an hour of soccer, the average person will expend at least 500 calories.

However, there are many factors that can impact your caloric expenditure like weight, level of intensity and which position you play.

27. Tai Chi

This ancient Chinese martial art is a great way to relax, improve your health, center your chi and burn calories.

Despite the slow, rhythmic movements, the average person can burn roughly 300 calories per hour.

28. Tennis

This sport is also a great aerobic workout whether you are practicing or playing in singles or doubles match.

The potential for calories burned during tennis really depends on your level of intensity and whether you are playing double or singles.

At a moderately intense level, the average person can burn 288 calories in a doubles match and 414 calories in a singles match per hour.

29. Volleyball

like tennis and other sports, the amount of calories you can burn in an hour of volleyball depends on things like the level of intensity and where you play at.

In a non-competitive group game, the average person can burn about 200 calories per hour. Competitive play will up the caloric expenditure to at least 300 calories per hour.

In beach volleyball, the average person can burn up to 700 calories per hour.

30. Walking

Like running, there are several factors that can affect the rate of calories burned per hour. The average person can burn about 80 calories per hour at a pace of 2.5 to 3.5 mph.

So, instead of sitting at your desk during lunch break, use that hour to walk and burn off those calories.

31. Wrestling

Although actual wrestling matches are short in duration, the practice of amateur wrestling can provide great returns of calories burned per hour.

Like any other activity on the list, one’s weight will also affect the number of calories burned.

With that said, the average person can burn nearly 450 calories in an hour of wrestling.

32. Yoga

Like Tai Chi, yoga is an amazing way to relax, meditate, reduce stress and improve your health. It’s also a great way to expend calories as the average person can burn nearly 300 calories per hour.

Keep in mind that the level of intensity, type of yoga, and hot yoga can increase caloric expenditure per hour.

Final Words

Before participating in any of these activities, make sure you consult with your health professional to see if the desired activity is safe for you. As mentioned above, it’s highly recommended that you change things up to keep level of motivation high and to keep your body guessing, which maximizes our caloric expenditure.

Also, the numbers used in these activities is based on a person weighing 150-155 pounds. For those of you who weight more or less, you the number of calories burned per hour will increase or decrease based on your body weight.

Lastly, these numbers are for reference only. They don’t guarantee that you will burn that amount every time you participate in an hour of any specific activity.

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